PANDA, the sweet condensed milk was not a threat any more. She looked at the PANDA jar in the morning, gentle smile crossing her face. She thought of her boy friend. How happy he would be now, now when one PANDA jar will last him two weeks instead of two days with her previous diligent help.
The sugar withdrawal symptoms were still there. She still felt pressure in her solar plexus and back of her throat, a pressure which due to lack of any reference would be interpreted as hunger. She was amused, because the feeling was really exactly the same to the feeling she experienced when quitting smoking: same nagging pressure resembling hunger but not being one. Fortunately sweets were out of the picture – so there was nothing of substance to stuff her face with to get rid of this imaginary hunger. Just the usual things: cherry tomatoes, zucchinis, white cabbage, cauliflower, lemons, apples, raisins, carrots, chicken, eggs. Even is she would be eating double the portions – no harm caused.
She did not want to eat double portions. Perception of food became weird. Each meal felt kind of unfinished without this sweet something at the end.
She went online and read about other people experiences with quitting sugar. Severe head aches were reported. She felt blessed. No headaches. Just some minor mood swings, bringing her on the verge of crying. Sometimes.
She felt that huge step has been taken without her even realizing yet how large of an impact this step will have in her life. Against her expectations, sugar was clearly positioning itself as an addiction. And addictions are high energy consumers. Quitting smoking and drinking alcohol in the course of her previous fitness battles freed tremendous amounts of energy, balanced out her personality, sharpened her mind, and increased her personal performance levels and physical health. Quitting sugar promised to have similar impact and she was excited and frightened in anticipation.
Quitting is to be scheduled in vacation times. She was glad it was vacation. She felt she started mastering the art of quitting somehow. It was all about knowing yourself and knowing your enemy, knowing exactly what is going to happen. It was about taking yourself through, walking next to yourself, hand in hand, firm and with a lot of compassion, knowing it will feel like shit, anticipating great unknown rewards in humble excitement.