Chapter 98: There is no time left…

There is no time left. No time left for self pity. No time left for self doubt. No time left for f#cking “I am not good enough eeeeeeeeeeh” sh!t. No time left for puzzling whether you can or can not do it. There is no time left. It feels like being naked in public. And this is ok.

Once no time is left the whole world looks different. You know that your path is exactly this narrow. You know that the cliff is exactly that high. You know that the time you have to get to the safety of the mountain forest is this short. There is nobody there to beg for extension. And this is ok.

Two tears are running down my cheeks thinking how much time has been killed with a can of beer, with a cigarette, in self pity, self doubt, in being stupid and listening to people telling me that I can’t do things. I have been extremely stupid spending years in self induced coma, feeding myself fat, working myself into exhaustion, listening to ignorant voices, unhappy poisoned minds. And even for regrets, there is no time left for regrets.

There is no time left. And when there is no time left – there is no fear. Everything becomes crystal clear. Everything becomes pure action; pure flow and … I start living.

 

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